minute by minute, hour by hour...

With the new changes to mine and Tayli's life, it has made me see things a little more for what they really are. I miss having someone to come home to and to share my life with. I don't like feeling so alone all the time, and even when I have tayli with me there are still moments that hit me in the day and I literally feel as though I have been punched in the chest. I can't picture a future anymore and I know that's just the depression trying to enter into the picture, and as hard as I try it still finds its way into my day even during the happy moments. With my left hand finger empty I still feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and as hard as I try to hide it from tayli I know she knows that my heart is breaking. I went from having someone to talk to everyday to now being completely ignored like I don't exist. How can a life be shared for numerous years and then within hours it all changes...I hate making this public and I try to keep my emotions inside but I want to remember this and how painful it is, how every minute has the potential of breaking you down so much that you can't imagine all the pieces being able to be put back together. I want to remember so if there comes a time again in my life that another man feels that he can fill the monstrous size shoes that I expect to be filled, that I will know with all my heart he will not put me through this again. I don't think I could possibly be put back together twice... once will be hard enough and the gaps left in between will be so noticeable I don't think another person could deal with them...